Bill!
by HardyxGirlx89
Summary: "Are the pants optional?" ... Chris smirked. "Oh silly boy...pants are ALWAYS optional."


I wanted an epic return...a grand second coming...

Knock Knock.

Who's There?

It's the JERICHO CURSE!

-_- I Own nothing, hope you enjoy!

* * *

"I think I wanna get married again."

The statement caught Chris so off guard that he nearly dropped the beer he'd just grabbed out of the fridge as he whipped around to face Adam, who was sitting on a kitchen stool with a bright smile on his face - a smile that suggested he thought this was one of his better ideas. "You…you what?" Chris asked, eyebrow arched quizzically.

"I wanna get married," Adam repeated. "Do you-"

"Oh- oh…hang on-" Chris cut off him midsentence, while waving a hand manically to make it evident to the longer haired man that he didn't want him to continue any further. "Listen, I'm really flattered Adam, but after what happened with Amy… if I leave Matt for you…well there's a good chance he's gonna snap and murder us both…which would be _**tragic**_, especially since I'm _**waaay **_too good looking to be the next person profiled on an _E! True Hollywood Stories : Crimes of Passion _special."

The grin that had been on Adam's face vanished as his he rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "I wasn't asking _you_…" He clarified. "I'm going to ask Jay, I just wanted to know if you had any ideas about how I should do it. I wanna do something nice."

"Oooh…right, gotta make things special for bride number…." There was a pause as Chris spoke, his head tilted slightly to the left and he chewed on his bottom lip as he mentally counted up Adam's previous _marriages_ "five." He finally continued with a nod. "Yup…number five."

"Three." Adam corrected, but the determinded Jericho shook his head then held up his hand and began ticking off a finger for each name as he listed them off.

"Allanah, Lisa, Amy, Vicki, and Jay will make 5. Which seems like a lot, but that's okay because you know I think he just might be the prettiest one."

"He is, and I'm sure he'd be glad to hear that," Adam began. "but he's still only number 3. I might've slept with Amy but we never got married, remember - Big Red interference."

"Oh…right" He nodded. "Glenn sorta ruined that, but you dodged a bullet there anyway. You should send him a thank you card or something."

"I did, and a lovely fruit basket."

"How very nice of you. Anyway - back to what I was saying. What about Vicki?"

"That wasn't real and I _**never **_slept with her-."

"Suuuure.." Chris gaving him one of those knowing looks - the kind that flat out told Adam he wasn't buying that story whatsoever - and that made the Rated R Superstar all the more defensive.

"I didn't!" He yelped.

"Whatever man, I don't judge…" The older man replied, his laxed attitude and casual shrug masking the fact that he was really quite amused with Adam's reaction. "Big girls need lovin' too." He added, biting back a laugh…or at least he was until the sharp-witted man sitting on the kitchen stool came back with his own retort.

"Is that what Matt tells you?"

The words had just barely gotten out of his mouth when Adam was met with a quick slap to the side of the head, courtsey of a now scowling Chris. "Assclown." He spat. "Matt loves my figure, and if you keep that shit up you'll be looking for a best man."

"…I didn't ask you to be my best man."

"Let's not split hairs - you're marrying the best man from you last couple of weddings so we both know you're gonna ask me. Now~! Let's start planning this out…you said you want a really romantic way to propose?"

"Right."

"Hmm…well have you got any ideas so far? "

"I was thinking, maybe, the classic approach : dinner with candlight, some cheesy music, then get on bended knee-

"and ask your man-love to be yours forever."

"Exactly, you think Jay's gonna like that?"

"I dunno," Chris shrugged as he contemplated the idea. "It's not exactly original…"

"Yea, well it's not like I'm gonna stick the ring in a cereal box."

"Hey!" Chris shouted indignantly. "You have no idea how happy the prize in the bottom of the box makes Matt!…And if he wouldn't have been so damn hungry he would've seen it for the romantic gesture it was!"

"If he'd **seen **it at all you could've saved yourself a trip to the emergency room.."

"Not the point…"

"So THE point. I'd like a proposal sans any chance of someone ending up on a gurney."

"Fine. Then stick with your boring lifetime movie-esque proposal, but if that's how you're gonna do it you should at least use his real name.."

Adam sighed heavily. "We're not gonna have to have this talk again are we? His name isn't really Christian."

"I know that. I think you're forgetting, I'm _very_ tech savvy now…I google and everything."

"Do you have a point?"

"Don't I always?"

Adam's reply to that was a long moment of silence and when Chris finally got the hint that the other wasn't going to agree he decided to continue reguardless.

"Well I do this time, and my point is that his name is William."

"What?….Why would you think his name is William?"

"Um…because it is."

Adam shook his head and the two argued back and forth with 'uh-huh's and 'uh-uh's until Chris had enough and offered a solid solution

"I can prove it ~ all you have to do is look him up online - that's what I did."

"That's…just a little creepy."

"I was bored."

"So cyber-stalking is an acceptable habbit for bored people?"

"It's better than going to bingo."

"Alright…but I'm not good with computers.." He confessed. "and if I use Jay's he'll know I'm up to something."

"Use mine." Chris made the offer and before Adam had time to refuse the other had trekked out to the car, retrieved a black laptop bag, and returned to the kitchen to set it in front of him. "You can borrow it tonight, I'll swing by in the moring to get it."

* * *

A little later that night, after Adam had said goodbye to Jericho and Jay had gotten home from the gym, the two were settled in their bedroom. Jay was sitting quietly on the bed, the hockey game he was watching turned down so low that he probably should've just put it on mute, his curiosity piqued as he glanced towards Adam. He'd been at the desk on the opposite side of the room for nearly an hour and Jay had yet to hear a single peep aside from the dull tapping of laptop keys. Most people probably would've taken advantage of that kind of quiet and just relaxed, but it concerned Jay - who knew better than anyone that a quiet Adam only made for trouble.

"Hey, babe…what're you doing?"

_Tap tap tap…_

"Adam?"

"….nothing. I borrowed Chris's laptop, and I'm just playing with google."

Jay laughed lowly, knowing that Adam was as computer illiterate as he often claimed to be so it was hardly a surprise that his venture into the world of technology was a slow one. " I see…and how's that coming for you?"

"Good…I think I've got the hang of it."

"What're you trying to look up?"

"Um…nothing…"

"Oh…alright then.."

While Jay returned to the game on TV Adam refocused his attention on the screen and tiny google search box, and with his one-finger typing method he entered _Christian _into the search query, figuring that'd be the quickest way to find any articles on Jay, but that didn't lead to the results he was looking for - instead he got suggestions for sites that offered to explain the Christian religon in depth…and one that offered

_**Hot Christian Singles - **__in your area! Click here to find out more!_

Shaking his head he navigated back to the top of the page, cleared the search box, and with a very concentrated look on his face he finger-typed _Jay Reso _into the box.

_**Search - **__click._

The first link that popped up was for an article on some site Adam hadn't heard of before, Wikipedia, and he blinked as it offered him information on…_William Jason Reso_

_William_

He blinked again, his logical side argued that Jericho couldn't have been right…he just couldn't…except there was a picture of Jay and his whole biography right there…

Quickly he shut the laptop and darted out into the hall, his fingers dialing Chris's number in record speed.

"You were right!" He whispered hurridly. "His name IS William…Will…Willie…Bill…"

"Bill, that's recockulous" Chris scoffed and the phone when silent for a moment, but then a gasp that gave way to the fact that Chris had been hit with a jolt of brilliance was heard on the other end of the reciever. "Recockulously brilliant!…I've got the prefect propsal - I'll explain everything when I get there in the morning, but you're gonna need…a wooden spoon, four D batteries…and leather pants."

"Are the pants optional?"

Chris smirked "Oh silly boy…pants are _**always**_ optional.

* * *

For the rest of that night Jay noticed that Adam was quiet, they had finished watching the game and he'd had fallen asleep snuggly in his lovers arm, but the next morning when he woke up Adam's side of the bed was empty. With a low grumble he pushed the covers away and trudged down the hall, but just as he reached the top of the stairs he heard something that made him turn around - Chris was visiting and there was absolutely no way he was exposing himself to **that** much crazy before he had his morning coffee.

So he puttered around in the bedroom for a while and once a suitable amount of time had passed he made his way back down the hall - this time there was nothing but silence coming from the living room, so he figured it was safe and began padding down the steps to the living room, it was in that instant he met Adam's eyes music began streaming through the speakers of their cd player and the man he loved so much began singing along - completely off key and at the top of his lungs - while Jericho danced and sung back-up.

"BIIILL… I love you so… I always will!"

Jay instinctly clasped his hands over his ears, hoping that doing so would would protect them and drown out the sound, but his attempts didn't work and he soon gave up in favor of traipsing into the living room, cutting off the cd player, and demanding an explanation.

"What are you doing?…Why aren't you wearing pants?"

The harsh tone made Adam frown. "Because Chris said I had to wear leather pants..and they chafe! …and I'm trying to serenade you!" He shouted defensively, lowering the wooden spoon he was using as a microphone from his mouth and resting his hand on his boxer-clad hip.

He let the pants comment slide, but his eyebrow quirked as Adam explained he was trying to serenade him. "…About some guy named Bill?"

Adam shook his head. "No, I'm trying to sing you _your_ song."

"M-my song?"

"Yea…unless you prefer William."

Jay cringed. "William? Why in the hell would you think that I wanna be called William - or Bill for that matter?"

"It's your name."

"My name?"

"Yea, I google - so I know things now, Bill."

"You've gotta stop calling me that.."

"But it's your **name**."

"But _**no one**_ calls me that."

"But Jericho said-"

Jay sighed and shook his head. "Adam…when do we ever listen to anything Jericho says?"

"I'm right here!" Chris interjected, causing them to both look at him with near identical glares that silenced him for the time being so that Adam could turn his attention back to Jay.

"…Well we don't…" He began to explain, the spoon tapping lightly against his leg as he fidgeted in a manor that was almost…nervous. "…but I think he's right this time." He continued. "If I'm gonna ask you to marry me then I need to use your real name."

"…if you're…if you're going to…what?"

"If I'm gonna ask you to marry me.." He repeated, hoping the dumbfounded look on Jay's face would soon be replaced by something a little more excited and ccompanied by a 'Yes!' …only to be a little disappointed when his counterpart blinked in confusion and asked yet another question.

"…and are you going to?"

"I'm trying to right now!" He raised the hand with the 'microphone' in it and gestured around to the cd player and his background dancer to try and make the point that Jay had interrupted him.

"Oh.."

"Yea, should I…?"

"Keep going?" Jay finished the question, then proceeded to answer it while nodding assuringly. "Yes, by all means..continue."

"Well I can't do it from the middle!"

"From the TOP!" Jericho chimed in before backpeddling a few steps and reseting the CD player so the song started from the beginning - allowing Adam to once again begin bellowing out the words of a song that detailed the love of a man named Bill and begged the question of marriage between verses that promised faithfulness. He got about half way through before Jay moved from where he'd been watching and wrapped his arms around Adam, a single word - yes- spilling from his lips between kisses that were inteputed when Adam pulled back to look at his lover.

"Really yes, or you want me to stop singing and you think the only way to get me to do that is by saying yes?"

"A little of both." Jay smirked teasingly, but his response cost him as a determined Adam broke out into a louder and -if possible- even more off key chorus.

"Come and Marry me Biiill! I've got the wedding bell blues~~"

"Okay! Really yes!"

Excited, Adam haulted his singing but Jericho continued :

_Bluuuess!~ I've got the wedding bell blues~!_

"Sorry…what?…" He shouted over the Fozzy singers vocals.

_Oooh…come on Bill!_

"Really YES!"

_Biiiiiiiilll~ I've -_

"Shut up Jericho, he said yes!"

The singing haulted and as the song faded out the realization hit Adam and with a grin he turned his attention back to Jay to steal another kiss, all the while Jericho watched - a happy sigh escaping him as he drew a Kleenex from the pocket of his leather pants and dabbed at his eyes.

"Always a best man, never a bride…"

* * *

I adore pretty, friendly, nice, good reviews - ...just sayin' =)


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